“I’m sorry you’re sick, Mom.”
That is what my son said this week as I struggled with tremendous pain.* But what I heard him say was,
“I’m sorry you’re Sick Mom.”
Like Sick Mom was my moniker. A description for my identity as a parent.
I’ve been sick so often since I’ve become a parent. Not your run of the mill colds, but full blown illness. Pneumonia was probably the easiest thing I have tackled. Through it all I have been the primary caretaker for my three littles, who has been observers to it all. They’ve been to doctors appointments with me. They have been privy to discussions concerning my health, and even have been contributors to these conversations.
So I’m starting to wonder if my children’s memories of me will be that I was always sick. And that makes me sad.
All the kinds of Moms
These thoughts make me wonder how other people would characterize themselves as moms. Do they see themselves as a Sick mom, too? A Mean mom? The Cool mom? A Too-busy mom? The Super Mom? Strict mom? Controlling mom? Tired mom? Crazy mom? Fat mom? Good Mom? Bad Mom?
The conclusion that I came to (so far) is that these characterizations are probably more so in our own heads than in our kids’.
Yes, my children will remember the times when I was sick. But they will probably also remember the times I was kind, when I was stressed out, and when I was a little crazy.
I am all these types of moms, but sometimes one of these Mom-personas takes over for a little bit.
And that is when I return to the realization that I am just a Mom who continuously is seeking balance.
*After a rough week of misdiagnoses and a LOT of pain, a fantastic doctor landed on an inflamed gallbladder as the cause of my struggles. I am going to have my gall bladder out as soon as I can get an appointment.